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If you hire a professional application essay writer, then he or she will always discuss the different issues around your brief. Your writer must not merely turn in your college application and then ask for money. But, I never dare to wipe away the memory of my seventh place swim; I need that daily reminder of my imperfection.
I need that seventh place. Two years ago, I joined the no-cut swim team. That winter, my coach unexpectedly assigned me to swim the freestyle. After stressing for hours about swimming 20 laps in a competition, I mounted the blocks, took my mark, and swam. Around lap 14, I looked around at the other lanes and did not see anyone. However, as I finally completed my race and lifted my arms up in victory to the eager applause of the fans, I looked up at the score board.
I had finished my race in last place. In fact, I left the pool two minutes after the second-to-last competitor, who now stood with her friends, wearing all her clothes.
It dangles information just out of reach, making the reader want to know more: Why does this definitively non-winning ribbon hang in such a prominent place of pride? In the intro, we get physical actions: We basically get a sports commentary play-by-play here. Even though we already know the conclusion—Meghan came in 7th—she still builds suspense by narrating the race from her point of view as she was swimming it. This essay uses the time expansion method of pivoting: The rest of the essay explores what it means for Meghan to constantly see this reminder of failure and to transform it into a sense of acceptance of her imperfections.
Notice also that in this essay, the pivot comes before the main story, helping us "hear" the narrative in the way she wants us to. Everyone is too lazy to take out a dictionary or even their phones to look it up, so we just hash it out. And then, I am crowned the victor, a true success in the Merchant household. Words and communicating have always been of tremendous importance in my life: With the first sentence, we are immediately thrust into the middle of the action —into an exciting part of an argument about whether "biogeochemical" is really a word.
Is this a word? Have I ever heard it before? Does a scientific neologism count as a word? Since the whole essay is going to be about words, it makes sense for Shaan to demonstrate his comfort with all different kinds of language: This essay uses the value-extraction style of pivot: The danger of this kind of pivot sentence is slipping into vague, uninformative statements, such as "I love words.
But the essay stops short of giving so many examples that the reader drowns. Several keys offer a good chance of unlocking a door; a giant pile of keys is its own unsolvable maze. The college essay introduction should hook your reader and make her want to know more and read more. You can t hen work on your first sentence and your pivot.
Wondering what to make of the Common Application essay prompts? Thinking of applying to the University of California system? Working on the rest of your college application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying. Download it for free now:. Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia.
She is passionate about improving student access to higher education. You should definitely follow us on social media. Follow us on all 3 of our social networks:. How to Get a Perfect , by a Perfect Scorer. Score on SAT Math. Score on SAT Reading. Score on SAT Writing. What ACT target score should you be aiming for? How to Start a College Essay Perfectly. Anna Wulick May 4, 8: A vivid, detailed story that illustrates your eventual insight: To make up for how short your story will be, you must insert effective sensory information to immerse the reader.
Want to build the best possible college application? Words are moving and changing; they have influence and substance. Download it for free now: Follow us on all 3 of our social networks: Ask a Question Below Have any questions about this article or other topics? Search the Blog Search. The page is as blank as it was before, possibly even blanker. Personal statements are labors of love, not something you can whip out on a whim.
Take a step back and do some research. There are many books on writing your essay with plentiful examples to help you along. Okay, great, now… forget everything you just read. Remember — you want your essay to be original, to stand out, to share your unique voice with the world. Reading example essays should merely be done to give you confidence that it is indeed possible to write an outstanding, memorable personal statement.
However, you do not want to fall into the trap of literally re-writing a statement that has already been written.
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© The College Board | PSAT/NMSQT is a registered trademark of the College Board and National Merit Scholarship Corporation. © The College Board PSAT/NMSQT . This time, I’m going for the essay jugular and offering a brainstorm guide to start your college application essay by honing in on your best problems. If you are new to this process of writing a narrative-style college application essay, let me clue you in to why problems are your golden ticket.